Well, i have to report this, but it will most likely come out as nonsense, as i don't really know what's going on. Apparently P has also had some sort of... dalliance with F, who everyone knew felt something for P, but i'd generally assumed that P's feelings had always been for J, even while he was with S. And noone is certain when this happened. F (Who i can't speak to because i've just been pretty much ignoring him these last few week. It would be, well, not right to suddenly confront him know.) is the original source, and i heard about it first through S and now i'm speaking to both S and J about it. F apparently says this happened after P left S, which would mean he's betrayed J aswell (I'm sorry, i really am, for all these letters. But i can't have people knowing who's who. especially as i may start showing this to more people.) as S. But noone's entirely sure of the chronology. And apparently P has said that F was lying, i'm not sure about what.

All this is absolutely killing S. He felt bad before, but he was getting to be OK, but now he just feels terrible. He keeps mentioning suicide, and i'm trying to help, but i'm a terrible comforter. And J isn't much better, he's so worried P's betrayed him. I think, personally, that P probably hasn't, much as, low down, some evil part of me wishes he has. But that isn't much of me. I want J to be happy.

A month ago i would never have believed this, not the slightest bit, of P. And i thought i knew him quite well. I've sorted out, now, i think, my own idea of how things have happened, and i hope, for J's sake that i turn out to be right. I think all this happened while P and S were still going out. But i don't see why they'd have broken over J but not F. I suppose the most likely thing is that it happened in the short period after P and S broke up, but before P and J were a definite thing. But i can't know, and i won't, until everyone's able to talk again.