Oh wow. What a difference this last day has wrought in me (I promise I'm not being pretentious, I do actually think in that sort of language a lot of the time. Besides, wreak is far too underused verb). I enjoyed the Ace Crew Outing, but when I came back I talked for ages to J online, and it wa just so wonderful. I can't think of anything either of us said particularly, but we just seemed to be so comfortable with each other. I love him more than ever. I don't care how I love him, whether I'm in love with him or not, just that I love him and it's the most gorgeous feeling. I went to bad last and I was grinning all over. I even believed him when he said he thouht I was attractive, even if he's not attracted to me. That's actually raher dangerous, it doesn't take much at all to get me all bigheaded. I looked at myself in the mirror afterwards and started to agree. But I was grinning so much my sight was impaired, so that was probably it.

I want him to know everything about me, all the petty irrelevant things that nobody would really care about, but I want him to know it all. I want to lay my life at his feet (As an insomniac you get a lot of time to think of how to phrase things (and this is the best I come up with?)) and have him see it all, and have him approve of ever part.