Showing someone your blog can often lead to pain. after id told him i loved him, J asked when hed get to see my blog, as id said id someday like him to see it. i decided that with a little editing it could be ok to show him, so i went through, deleted all (or so i thought) references to his place in P's affections, and gave him the address. i hadnt, it seems, deleted all of them. not long after, he asked who P was. when i asked what P was doing, he said "being in love with me". i screwed that up, then. and now it turns out hed liked P at roughly the same time. he was annoyed to have missed out, referring to him as "the one that got away". and now im reminded once again of my position as least loved, least experienced member of the Ace Crew. Nobody ever wants me as anything but a friend.