Wow! For the first time ever i've been so caught up in things to blog about that i haven't actually blogged them. Now, though, after the marvellous time i had tonight, seems about the right time to start filling stuff in.

On Saturday, then, i set off from home, leaving, of course, for universuty, and on Saturday i arrived. My books, the absence of which had been barely noticeable on my bookshelves at home, occupied around twice as much space as they had been allotted. Other stuff came with me too, including my lovely new cushions with the flies embroidered on in green. Most of my stuff is green. I do like green a lot. My flat is rather grotty. I can't stop it being damp, which warps those books i'm unable to cram onto my bookshelves, and this bizarre fluff keeps appearing and covering everything i own. I am trying, and not doing all that badly, actually, to be sociable and to make friends. I went out on Saturday night with various people from my flats, and it was ok. I didn't talk much, but they didn't seem to mind, and i really like a few of them. We were out a little while, in pubsy kind of places, drinking drinks, but mostly not enough to be drunk. Not even me, who used to be drunk on a couple of glasses of blue stuff. Later, when we returned, i went with a few of them to one of the girls bedrooms (The girls live on the top floor, the boys underneath. Presumably, we are considered to matter less if we are robbed through the window right next to which one is forced to place all of one's valuable belongings.), where we watched Finding Nemo, drank a little alcohol and, to my surprise, smoked some marijuana. And yes, that was a 'we'. I have now sampled the delights of drugs. And they didn't seem all that delightful, to be honest. Probably i smoked it wrong, or didn't smoke enough, but it hardly seemed to do anything. I did giggle a little, but i think that was partly because i felt i should. And besides, i do have a natural propensity to giggle. But i don't think i can be bothered to smoke the stuff again. For one thing, i don't really want to be responsible for wasting things that other people can take so much more pleasure from.

Since then i haven't done all that much, really. There's been various stuff to sort out, but i mostly stayed in my room before tonight.

A little while before i left, Ms E, in an email reminding me of her three ideas. (Or rules, or tips - the nomenclature isn't important.) They were to talk to at least one new person each day, (So far i've managed this, contrary to my expectations, but i'm sure i won't be able to keep it up for long.) to arrive early and make tea for those who arrived after, thus immediately presenting of myself a helpfull, kind or somesuch image, (I failed in this completely. I don't even drink tea.) and the third was to find a job in the library, this having the double advantage of being paid and being in a library. I intend to try this, when i'm a little more settled in. But she also asked (Have i explained that i've kept in contact with Ms E? That as soon as i was pretty much safe from seeing her again i told her i was gay? Well, i have and i did.) if i intended to join the LBG society. I thought it would be rude to remind her that, actually, it's LGB, and i haven't actually responded yet, for the same reason there hasn't been much in the way of blogging. But, although i didn't reply, i did consider it and decide it was probably a good idea. I wasn't terribly expectant that i would, of course. I'm a coward, remember, and no good at organising myself either. But, when, in some student directory thing i was handed on appearing to claim my keys, i later noticed a small notice that had been inserted by the LGB society. They were to have a meeting on Tuesday. That's today. (Well, to me it is.) And i went. I did indeed go. I worked up the courage, hoped desperately that P wouldn't turn up, and went. In my zealous desire not to be late i turned up about half an hour early. Still, i wasn't the only early one and didn't have too long to wait. Soon turned up a girl, later revealed to be one of the LGB committee, talking to a man who reeked of confidence, who oozed it with every step. He had reason for it, i'm sure. For one thing hje was very good looking. For another, such confidence seems entirely able to perpetuate itself. People are attracted to the confident persons, and this only confirms his confidence. I used to want to be like that. Not any more though. Obviously this is partly just because i can see how unrealistic an idea this is, but partly because i do like me. I do, little as i deserve it. More people came, and then more, and soon the room was overflowing. More people, we were told, than had turned up to any of the meetings last year. And i was the first. That's pretty cool, now i think of it. Best of all, P wasn't there! Many people were there, but not a single one of them was P.

I had a tremendous time. I did. I really, really did! After briefly remaining in the meeting room, where we were introduced to the seven committee members, the aims, intents and modus operandi of the society, and finally each other, (Along with our favourite vegetables.) we went to a pub where, for the first time since i arrived, i got properly drunk. We filled up around half of the pub, numerous as we were, and even then we were huddled together around a few tables. I, being among the last to arrive, struggled to find a place to sit. After a short while standing (Why on earth am i going into such detail?) a nearby stool was indicated and i pulled it up. There were six of us at the table, of whom two of us were male. One of the girls was also a committee member and hence found herself doing most of the talking. Eventually though, we were all a little less sober and found ourselves able to converse more readily. I may have made friends of a couple of girls, i think. (Who, unfortunately, until i decide what to do about naming people (Having forgotten which letters i've used but being pretty certain that i've cut through a considerable part of the alphabet. (Often for people who didn't deserve it.)) must remain unidentified.) One of them i'm meeting up with on thursday, so i can finally see Lost in Translation, and the other one has been perfectly lovely and seems to have taken it into her head to mother me, ever so slightly, which i'm not complaining about at all. That is one good thing about pathetic, i suppose. People are more inclined to pity you. I gave up hating being pitied a long time ago.

After the pub we went on to Sheffield's only full time gay bar, much maligned (There's another one! Another far too overused phrase. Not that i'm about to remove it or anything. It's the one that fits best.) throughout the evening by those who had been there before. Still, when we got there, i very much enjoyed it. Of course, i have never been to a gay bar before, so i've nothing to compare it to. But i enjoyed. By the time we got there i had sobered up a little, so i had something to drink. As i usually do at any public gathering, i stood there, arms folded, chewing my nails, (Unwise, as i do try to grow them. They may look ridiculous so long, but i like them like this. I generally chew them so much that they become transparent, but i try to stop before they actually fall off.) but i was soon whipped out, by the girl who has placed herself in charge of me and the committee member (I don't like always calling them committee members, it seems bizarre and formal. If i called them leaders i'd be reminded of Youth Fellowship, ages ago, and i can't really think of anything good to refer to them as.) who had been at our table earlier, onto the dance floor, (Or is that a single word?) despite my protestations (Mmm, that's a nice word. Stress the third syllable, with a little sibilance on the 'S' for maximum effect.) that i can't dance. That didn't matter though, as i soon found myself trying to move rythmically (vaguely) while indicating that, no, i couldn't do that, ('That' being what they were doing. I can't remember what that was, so imagine it for yourselves.) however easy they made it look. I knew a looked a complete fool out there, but after a while i didn't mind all that much and began to enjoy it all the same. And then my new friend (The one who's adopted me - the other girl had gone by this point.) started, or so it seemed to me, marshalling people into trying to help me out, into showing me what to do. The attention was nice, but i still felt a fool. But at least i didn't let myself start believing anything anyone did was out of any sort of attraction for me. (Well, ok, i did at one point when somebody asked for my email address, (Me not knowing my phone number by heart.) but i soon quashed that thought. But it was nice to think that someone thought i could make a worthwhile friend.) Eventually, i came home on my own, grinning and hugging myself as i went. I have had a hell of a lot of fun, and i don't intend to have a free Tuesday evening from now till eternity (Or the end of term. Whichever's first, really.)