Well, here I am. The play (Play Without Words) was absolutely brilliant. I can't really think of any good way to descibe and do justice to it, but it really was magnificent. And it was a lot of fun going with J and it seems I am no longer the evil pqaedophile you shouldn't trust your youngest son with. Which is good. Saying that, one of my best friends, one P, is in love with J and the idea that he may be a paedophile is really upsetting him. And I know another person, in J's year, who is in love with P. He's L, the newest addition to our ranks, a bisexual, but a good chap all the same(seriously, I just can't explain what I have against bisexuals. Although, thinking about it, it may only be some. It just seems that a considerable portion of the bisexuals are some of the worst homophobic wankers who've hated me (and I have hated in return) for almost seven years, and it just doesn't seem fair). He is now one of my best friends. He's absolutely hilarious. He's also extremely camp and flirtatious and teased endlessly for it (evil straight boys (you see, the reasons to forgo their company just keep piling up)). Though saying that, he does have a tendency to encourage him a little. But it is in no way his fault. And anyway, I was discussing the fact that he is in love with P. So, yes, he is in love with P, J is in love with... some straight person (much like my obsession with E), and- its just tangled, I can't be bothered. I, of course love them all (well, not J's straight boy) and can do nothing to help.

But, back to me and my own obsessions, I have decided, finally, to contact E. Next Friday his year go on study leave, a week before us, and I will no longer be able to bump into him at school and catch fleeting glances during room changes. And I will no longer be in range of any... bad reactions to the news. Yes, it is despicable and cowardly, and I hate treating him with so little respect and trust, but it's all I can manage.

Perhaps it's also worth pointing out that I have now finished my first A2 exam, a fifteen hour art exam. Woo. I think I might manage a C, just about, but no better.