Darn. I was hoping for progress when I signed on today. It was two days ago that P (my friend in France; I really hope I don't end up confusing myself with this nonsense) gave me E's e-mail address and the day before that that he actually got it (not from E himself, though. He got it from, i believe, a mutual friend. But that's not important). Obviously right now this is the onus of my life. I have little else to talk about. This is the holidays, after all.

I should say that I've been thinking again about E again. By the end of last night I'd come to the conclusion that I do love him. I love him more when I think about the possibility that he's gay. I've discussed his sexuality loads with friends and a lot of opinions have come out favourably. And P reports someone saying he's gay in a pretty confident seeming way (This much obsession and analysis could be a little unhealthy), but i did once write down that i heard the same person yell out on the bus "[E] is gay", presumably just as an insult. And it seems fair, really, to be more attracted to him if he's gay. I mean, there's no point otherwise. Today, though, i decided it doesn't actually matter if I do yet. Soon, hopefully, I'm going to speak to him, properly this time, and surely I'll know better then.

Two full days left in this country.