Gather all the hair possible in the left hand. Tease out a couple of wisps on either side so as not to leave the fringe completely stranded. Are we symettrical? Good. Bobble in the right, careful to lose as little of the bunch as possible in the changeover. Pull it tight and twist, tight and twist again. Once more? And let go. Gently patting the back of the head, are we central? A good height? The ribbon, then. Purple and thick and long - two metres long. Start underneath the bunch, bring both sides round to the top and tie. Two equal lengths? If not, try again. Make a loop in the left hand - remember how to tie a lace? A loop in the left hand, bring the other hand round with the rigt and pass it through the space this has just made, making a second loop. Take one in each hand and tease them out till they're equal, but not too far. The bow to come down to the top of the neck, the ribbon ends down to the shoulderblades. Roughly. Make sure it's all sitting right, there aren't two loops of the bow on the same side. Are we perfect? Then i'm me.